For those of you who read my column, you most likely noticed that I didn't have one last week. If you don't read it, then you missed a great one (haha). For one of the very few times in the last nearly 20 years, I did not write a weekly column.
I have written columns while in Africa and the UK. I've even written ones while recuperating from surgery at MD Anderson, but not this week. Nope, I was in the hospital recovering from what they originally thought was a bowel obstruction which turned out to be much less severe. But this time I just couldn't make it happen.
This coronavirus has really taken its toll on me. It's been nearly seven weeks since I came down with it and there are still some things happening which I have to chalk up to its nastiness. I am way beyond being contagious but, within my body, it likes to have its fun.
I'm not sure this latest health issue can be linked to it but I'm betting it played some role in it. Part of my coronavirus symptoms have been back pain -- sometimes very severe. And a lot of time pain meds have done little to alleviate the pain. I can empathize with those with chronic pain and wish I could do something to lift their burden.
Back pain and meds played into what caused my latest malady but I think that we have gotten most of the issues addressed and are now ready to start mending. Through this, I have asked God constantly to take away the pain and sometimes I think He is ignoring me. I know He isn't but I have felt isolated.
My wise wife said that I needed to focus on what God was trying to teach me through all of this rather than focusing on the pain. Easier to say, harder to do, but I tried and then it came to me what He was trying to teach me. He wanted me to focus on the agony and sacrifice that our Lord made for us on the cross.
As a Christian, I know the story of the crucifixion but knowing the story and really focusing on it are two different things. In my (in comparison) minuscule pain, I started to realize the full extent of the suffering he made for me.
He was beaten (scourged) with a whip that had chips of bone in it, then had to carry the crosspiece to his own crucifixion. Then he had nails hammered through his hands and feet and hung on the cross for six hours with every part of his body screaming for relief.
And, during this time, he called out to his father and felt totally abandoned since God could not look upon the sins he was carrying for us. This kind of total unrelenting pain and feeling of abandonment I can never ever feel.
We may suffer but we will never suffer the way Christ did for us. And that humbles me beyond anything I can express.
Kevin Wilson is a former state representative who was born in Goodman and now lives in Neosho. Opinions expressed are those of the author.