It is estimated that approximately 43% of the world's population is bilingual. Now, speaking for myself, I understand a few words of the Spanish language and can speak words of Spanish which I have picked up while watching old Cheech and Chong movies, but I can by no means be considered bilingual.
Understanding that the number given to the population which is bilingual, once again that percentage being around 43%, I suppose that you would not be overly impressed if I told you that Quirinus Qain understands both English and French. But, and now comes the interesting part, suppose I told you that Quirinus Qain was a Belgian Malinois; that's right, a dog of the canine species well known and widely used in the Netherlands. Well, I'll bet I've captured your attention now.
James and Charlene had bantered about, at lease in passing, the idea of purchasing a dog but not just any dog. You see, the couple owns a business just a way south of the southwest Missouri town of Noel and, if a dog was obtained, it would be a protection dog. Charlene didn't require a dog which would patrol the grounds of the "Got-Junk?" business but rather a loyal animal that would fill the role as her protector.
Now the conversation about the dog never got past the talking stage, that is until one day when James telephoned Charlene. James told his wife that he just saw a highway advertising billboard marketing the training and sale of protection dogs. The business was located in Siloam Springs, Ark., about a 45-minute drive from the family business. Charlene detected, at least by the tone of James' voice, that he was excited about the opportunity to check out the facility, so she agreed to accompany him on the drive to Siloam Springs.
The conversation during the trip consisted of topics dealing with the family business, the weather and yes, dogs. Now Charlene didn't quite know what might be for sale in the way of a protector, companion and potential canine friend and, for that matter, neither did James.
As the couple pulled into the parking lot of the Siloam Springs-based facility, each commented to the other on how professional, yet unassuming, the business appeared. But then, neither James nor Charlene had ever ventured into the area of buying the type of dog the couple came to look at.
Charlene had avoided a very important question as she and James looked at the nice but rather ordinary animal.
"Just how much does this dog cost?"
With very little pause and a face completely devoid of expression the man answered. "The dog is $4,000."
His answer, to say the very least, caught Charlene off guard.
"But, that price includes training for you and the dog."
He apparently, and wholeheartedly, believed that the exorbitant amount quoted to the then pale-faced couple was completely and utterly justified; after all, it included the added feature of training.
The training for Charlene and her newfound protector would involve her attendance at eight classes in Siloam Springs. During that span, the dog trainers would be able to determine if Charlene and Qain were a good match for one another and if they formed a bond. Unknown to Charlene, it seemed that not all dogs were right for all people. At least that's the way it was explained to her.
"Oh, there is just one more thing," the trainer added. "Do you by any stretch of the imagination speak French?"
The question was obviously posed to Charlene. Now, what in the world could that question have to do with buying a dog, even a $4,000 dog?
"No, I can't say that I speak even one word of the language. I can't say that I've ever had a need to speak it either."
"Well, that's probably not going to be a big deal but you will need to learn a little French."
Curiosity got the better of her and Charlene couldn't avoid posing the obvious question.
"Why in the world do you want to know if I speak French?"
"Well ma'am, after the training, this dog will understand eight important commands, but each command has to be spoken in French."
Charlene thought to herself, "How absurd."
Not only did the dog cost $4,000, but it only understood French. She wondered what came next. Did the darn $4,000 dog only eat prime rib?
Well, Charlene liked the idea of a trained protector that would constantly be by her side at work and she also favored the look of the brown dog with the black muzzle so the deal was consummated. Although the new dog owner agreed to the price, it was still a little difficult to hand over that much money for a canine of any kind. And what of that long name? An easy fix; Charlene would call him, "Qain."
Qain and its owner completed the training and, sure enough, Charlene did come to learn a few words of the French language, at least the words important to Qain. Charlene and Qain bonded beautifully and it was as if the two were meant to be together, and together they would be.
There are occasions when buying scrap metal can be stressful because not all customers are happy with the amount offered for their material and that's when Qain's particular skills are invaluable.
Charlene has, at least on two occasions, found that her protector's presence diffused a potentially volatile situation. On those occasions, Qain seemed to sense the stress in Charlene's voice and immediately walked to her and stood silently by her side. With ears raised and, after a command in French, the protector uttered a bark; and a bark to the wise was sufficient. Qain exhibited no aggression, but that single bark and the focused stare of the animal into the face of the customer convinced, on both occasions, the seller to refrain from escalating the situation.
Charlene enjoys Qain's company and is secure in the knowledge that her protector is nearby. Woman's best friend, Qain has developed a strong bond with his newly-found friend and particularly enjoys the moments when Charlene gives him his favorite treat, a "Bill Jack" frozen dog treat. Although to be quite honest, there are opportunistic moments, and when a previously opened bag of snacks rests atop the table, well, Qain sneaks a treat or two.
At the end of each and every working day, Qain and Charlene go home. There Qain plays with Charlene's kids and grandkids as well as Charlene and James' three other dogs. At night Qain sleeps in his own bed, located in the couple's bedroom as he rests prior to yet another day at the office.
Charlene finds that the canine particularly enjoys visits to the bank as the folks there always give him a treat or two. Qain shows his appreciation and gratitude for the offerings of food with the wag of his tail.
A dog with a $4,000 price tag? I declare, before I would part with that much money, that darn dog would not only be expected to understand the French language but also fluently speak it. I do have a cat that seems to understand the words, "no," "stop that" and assorted curse words, but I guess that wouldn't qualify her as being bilingual.
Stan Fine is a retired police officer and Verizon Security Department investigator who, after retiring in 2006, moved from Tampa, Fla., to Noel, Mo. Stan's connection to Noel can be traced back to his grandparents who lived most of their lives there. Stan began writing after the passing of his wife Robin in 2013. Opinions expressed are those of the author.
Editorial on 09/19/2019